If you’re scheduling an intake with an ABA provider, you’re probably holding a lot at once: hope, stress, questions, and a strong desire to make the “right” choice for your child.
You’re also not alone in wondering what you’re even supposed to ask. Intakes can feel like a blur of paperwork, big promises, and unfamiliar terms. And when you’re trying to advocate for your child, it’s easy to leave the call realizing you forgot the most important questions.
This guide is here to help. Below, we’ll walk through the most useful questions to ask during an ABA intake and why they matter. Our goal is simple: help you feel confident, informed, and supported as you choose services that fit your child and your family.
Before the intake: What you’re really trying to learn
An intake is not just a formality. It’s your first look at how a provider thinks, how they treat families, and what therapy might actually look like week to week.
During an intake, you’re trying to understand:
- Does this team listen to my priorities and respect my child?
- Do they use ethical, modern practices that protect my child’s dignity?
- Can they realistically provide services when and where we need them?
- Will they support our family, not just run sessions?
- Are they transparent about progress, communication, and billing?
We also believe something else matters just as much: assent. We distinguish ourselves through a modern, assent-based approach, meaning we prioritize the child’s happiness and willingness to participate, strictly avoiding aversive or punishment-based strategies. A strong intake should make it clear how a provider will earn your child’s trust, not force compliance.
As you’re navigating this process, it’s beneficial to be informed about the types of autism services available. Understanding these options can empower you during the intake process and help ensure that you’re making the best decisions for your child’s unique needs.
Your child’s potential is limitless, but finding the right support is the first step toward reaching it. Reach out to our team to get the answers you need and begin your journey with confidence.
Questions about fit: “How will you get to know my child?”
1) “How do you decide what goals to work on first?”
A good answer should include collaboration with parents and caregivers, direct assessment, and a plan to prioritize meaningful skills. Listen for goals that improve daily life, like communication, flexibility, tolerance for changes, self-help skills, emotional regulation, and independence.
If the provider talks mostly about reducing behaviors without asking what your child needs to gain, ask for examples of skill-building goals.
2) “How do you include our family’s priorities and culture in treatment?”
This is an important fit question. You want a team that respects your routines, values, language, and parenting style.
A strong provider should ask about what matters to you, what a successful day looks like, and which challenges feel most urgent at home, school, or in the community.
3) “How do you handle it if my child refuses or isn’t comfortable?”
This question quickly reveals whether a provider is aligned with an assent-based approach.
We believe therapy should be something your child can trust. Ask what the provider does when a child says “no” verbally or nonverbally. Look for answers like:
- building rapport first
- adjusting demands
- offering choice and control
- using play and child-led pairing
- teaching coping skills gradually
- respecting breaks and pacing
Be cautious if you hear rigid language like “they must comply” or “we don’t allow escape.” Real progress lasts longer when your child feels safe and willing to participate.
Questions about approach: “What does ABA look like with you?”
4) “How do you define ‘success’ in ABA?”
You’re listening for values here, not buzzwords.
A thoughtful answer usually includes improved quality of life, independence, communication, reduced stress for the family, and skills that generalize to real situations. It should not be only about making a child appear “typical” or suppressing harmless traits.
5) “Can you describe what a typical session looks like in our home or community?”
ABA should not feel like worksheets at a table all day (unless that truly matches your child and goals). Ask for a real description:
- Where does the therapist start?
- How do they follow your child’s motivation?
- How do they teach skills during routines like meals, getting dressed, sibling play, or community outings?
- How do they incorporate play, movement, and breaks?
Because we believe in meeting children where they are, you should hear how sessions will work in the settings that matter most: your home, school (when appropriate), and your local community.
6) “How do you teach emotional regulation and coping skills?”
This is one of the most important areas for many families, and it’s worth asking directly.
Look for answers that include proactive teaching, not just responding when things go wrong. Examples include:
- identifying early signs of dysregulation
- teaching functional communication (asking for help, break, space)
- practicing calming strategies when the child is already calm
- building tolerance gradually
- teaching flexibility in small, respectful steps
7) “How do you address challenging behavior without punishment?”
ABA should be ethical and skill-focused.
Ask what strategies are used first. A modern approach often emphasizes:
- understanding the function of behavior
- adjusting the environment
- teaching replacement skills
- reinforcing communication and coping
- supporting transitions and predictability
- coaching caregivers so skills carry over
If a provider references punishment-based methods, intimidation, or anything that sounds aversive, it’s okay to pause and ask clarifying questions. Your child deserves compassionate care.
Questions about staffing: “Who will actually be in my home?”
8) “Who supervises the program, and how often will they be present?”
ABA programs are typically designed and overseen by a BCBA, with sessions often carried out by RBTs under supervision.
Ask:
- How many hours per month will the BCBA supervise?
- Will the BCBA observe sessions in person, via telehealth, or both?
- How often will the BCBA update the plan based on data and your feedback?
- How do you handle urgent concerns between supervision visits?
You want clear expectations, not vague assurances.
9) “What training and support do your RBTs receive?”
RBTs can be wonderful clinicians when they are supported well.
Ask about:
- onboarding and ongoing training
- how they’re coached in-session
- how performance is monitored
- how the team ensures consistency across therapists
Also ask what happens if an RBT is not a good fit for your child. A provider should have a respectful plan for change when needed.
10) “Will we have the same therapist consistently?”
Consistency matters, especially for rapport and routine. Staffing realities vary, but the provider should be honest.
Good follow-ups:
- What is your typical turnover rate?
- What happens if our therapist is out sick or leaves?
- How do you transition a new team member so my child feels safe?
Questions about hours and availability: “What can you realistically provide?”
11) “Do you have availability for the days and times we need?”
This question seems obvious, but it’s often the biggest practical issue.
Ask specifically:
- Do you have after-school hours?
- Can you support mornings for young children?
- Do you offer weekend sessions?
- How long is your waitlist for our area in New Hampshire?
12) “How many hours do you recommend, and why?”
Be cautious of one-size-fits-all hour recommendations. Intensity should match your child’s needs, tolerance, and family capacity.
A high-quality answer should mention that hours are individualized based on assessment, goals, your child’s stamina, and how much support is needed for skills to generalize.
13) “Can services happen in the community, not just at home?”
If your child struggles at the store, playground, restaurants, or during appointments, it’s reasonable to ask if therapy can occur there.
We believe strongly in building practical skills for real life, so we encourage asking how a provider supports community-based sessions when appropriate and safe.
Questions about parent involvement: “How will you partner with us?”
14) “What does parent training look like?”
Parent training should feel empowering, not judgmental.
Ask:
- How often will we meet?
- Is coaching done during sessions, in separate meetings, or both?
- Will you help us with routines like bedtime, meals, transitions, and outings?
- How do you tailor strategies to our parenting style?
At Moving Mountains ABA, we believe in a partnership with parents to help children with autism navigate their world with confidence and independence. You deserve a provider who treats you as an essential part of the team. Our therapy approaches are designed to empower both the child and the parent.
15) “How do you coordinate with schools or other providers?”
Many children have speech therapy, OT, counseling, or an IEP team. Ask how the ABA team collaborates (with your permission) to keep goals aligned and avoid overwhelming your child with conflicting approaches.
Good coordination can reduce stress for everyone.
Questions about measurement and communication: “How will we know it’s working?”
16) “How do you collect data and share progress?”
ABA should never feel like “trust us.” Progress should be observable and measurable, while still respecting the child’s dignity.
Ask:
- What kind of data do you collect (frequency, duration, skill acquisition, caregiver report)?
- How often will we review progress?
- Will we receive written updates?
- Do you track quality-of-life outcomes (like easier mornings, smoother outings, more independent play)?
17) “What happens if we’re not seeing progress?”
This is a key accountability question.
A strong provider should describe a clear process: reviewing data, reassessing the function of behavior, checking skill prerequisites, adjusting teaching strategies, updating reinforcers, and confirming goals still match your priorities.
You also want to hear openness to your feedback. You know your child best.
18) “How do you make sure skills generalize beyond therapy sessions?”
A child might learn a skill with one therapist but struggle to use it elsewhere. Generalization is the difference between “we saw it once” and “this changed our life.”
Ask how the provider:
- practices across people, places, and routines
- trains caregivers to support the skill
- fades prompts and support appropriately
- plans for maintenance over time
Questions about ethics and safety: “How do you protect my child?”
19) “How do you ensure therapy is respectful and trauma-informed?”
This can feel like a big question, but it matters. You’re inviting someone into your home and into your child’s world.
Look for answers that include:
- assent and child choice
- proactive support for regulation
- avoiding coercive strategies
- respecting sensory needs
- privacy and confidentiality standards
- supervision and accountability
20) “Can I observe sessions? What is your policy on caregiver involvement during sessions?”
You should be allowed to observe. Some children do better when parents step back, but that should be discussed collaboratively, not demanded. A provider should welcome your involvement while also helping build independence in a healthy way.
21) “What is your policy for reporting concerns or making a complaint?”
An ethical provider should have clear channels for concerns and should take feedback seriously without becoming defensive.
You can ask who you contact first and what the escalation path looks like if an issue isn’t resolved.
Questions about logistics: billing, insurance, and paperwork
22) “Do you accept our insurance? What will we pay out of pocket?”
Ask for clarity on:
- in-network vs out-of-network status
- copays, coinsurance, and deductibles
- prior authorization requirements
- how often authorizations are renewed
- what happens if hours are denied or reduced
For more detailed information about insurance coverage, it might be beneficial to ask who will help you understand benefits. Billing shouldn’t be a guessing game.
23) “What does the intake process include, and how long does it take?”
Ask what happens after the intake conversation:
- records review
- initial assessment
- caregiver interviews
- observation
- goal development
- scheduling sessions
Also ask for a realistic timeline. It’s okay to request specifics.
24) “What are your attendance and cancellation policies?”
Life happens, especially with kids. You want a policy that’s clear and fair, and you want to know how missed sessions affect staffing and progress.
A simple way to organize your questions (so you don’t freeze in the moment)
If you want an easy cheat sheet for the intake call, keep these four categories in front of you:
- Approach: How do you teach? How do you handle refusal? How do you stay respectful?
- People: Who is on our team? How are they trained and supervised? How consistent is staffing?
- Plan: What goals come first? How do you measure progress? How do you adjust?
- Practical: Availability, hours, locations, billing, timeline.
If a provider answers clearly and welcomes your questions, that’s a good sign. If you feel rushed, dismissed, or pressured, it’s okay to slow down and keep looking.
The bottom line: You’re allowed to be picky
Choosing ABA is not just choosing a service. It’s choosing people who will spend meaningful time with your child and your family.
We believe ABA should feel supportive, practical, and humane. It should build real-life skills, reduce stress, and increase independence, while honoring who your child is. And it should be rooted in collaboration, because parents are not on the sidelines. You’re central to lasting progress.
If you’re exploring ABA for your child in New Hampshire and want to talk through what services could look like, we’re here. Reach out to us at Moving Mountains ABA to learn more about our in-home and community-based services or to schedule a consultation. We’d be honored to support your family with compassion, collaboration, and care.
FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions)
What should I aim to learn during an ABA intake appointment?
During an ABA intake, you want to understand if the provider listens to your priorities, respects your child, uses ethical and modern practices, can provide services when and where needed, supports your family beyond sessions, and is transparent about progress, communication, and billing. It’s also important to assess their assent-based approach that prioritizes your child’s willingness and happiness.
How do providers decide which goals to prioritize for my child?
A good ABA provider collaborates with parents and caregivers, conducts direct assessments, and prioritizes meaningful skills that improve daily life such as communication, flexibility, tolerance for change, self-help skills, emotional regulation, and independence. They focus on skill-building goals rather than only reducing behaviors.
How is my family’s culture and priorities incorporated into my child’s ABA treatment?
Strong providers actively ask about your routines, values, language preferences, parenting style, what a successful day looks like for your child, and the challenges you face at home, school, or in the community. They tailor treatment plans to respect and integrate your family’s unique culture and priorities.
What does an assent-based approach in ABA therapy look like when my child resists participation?
An assent-based approach respects your child’s comfort by building rapport first, adjusting demands as needed, offering choices and control, using play and child-led activities to build trust gradually, teaching coping skills proactively, and allowing breaks. Providers avoid forcing compliance or using punishment-based strategies.
What does a typical ABA session involve in home or community settings?
A typical session is flexible and follows your child’s motivation. Therapists start by engaging the child in familiar routines like meals or dressing, incorporate play and movement breaks, teach skills during daily activities including sibling interactions or community outings. Sessions are designed to meet children where they are in settings important to them.
How do ABA providers teach emotional regulation and manage challenging behaviors ethically?
Effective providers teach emotional regulation proactively by identifying early signs of dysregulation, teaching functional communication (like asking for help), practicing calming strategies when the child is calm, building tolerance gradually with respect. For challenging behaviors they focus on understanding behavior functions, adjusting environments, teaching replacement skills, reinforcing positive coping strategies, supporting transitions predictably, and coaching caregivers—all without punishment or aversive methods.
Choosing an ABA provider is a big decision, and you deserve a team that welcomes your questions with transparency. Contact Moving Mountains ABA today to schedule your intake and see how we put your family first.